Stuck

"Hi."
"Hi."
"Um, my cert?"
"What cert?"
"A-Level cert?"
*Looks at me from top to bottom* "Oh. Which intake are you from?"
"HA07."
*Surprised* "HA07?! What programme are you doing now?" *Stares at the books in my hand*
"Uh..." *Think, CY, think!*
"With HELP?"
"... Yeah."
"Oh. That's why you're carrying the books."
*OMG CHANGE TOPIC OR DISTRACT HER. NOW.* "Uh. Yeah. Anyway. I passed my student card just now?"
"When?"
"Uh, at 2.00pm?"
"Okay. Hang on." *Turns to her colleages* "Who took her student card?!"

I was a little offended. I felt that I didn't need to tell her which "programme" I'm taking now. At the same time, I got mad at myself. A voice yelled at me inside, "Why the hell did you bring yourself into this whole mess in the first place?!" Yeah. Why the hell did I even do that? But at this point of time, after so long, I know I should have forgiven myself.. or at least just suck it up and move on.

Jon said something that made me realise how true it was. I'm not in shape to study. Not now. At least, I know I was more "in shape" last semester. I'm like a human sloth now, it's not even funny anymore. In two months and two days, I will be facing my finals. THE finals. And IT WILL BE THE LAST ONE. I need to pick myself up. I need to motivate myself. I need to keep going. I NEED TO.

Get up, CY. GET THE HECK UP!

Signing off,
Cindy.