We struggle, we cry, we question about life, but most important of all, we get up, we clean ourselves, we wipe our tears, and we keep going. After all, life is not just about rainbows and butterflies. Life is... how we choose to live. We ALWAYS have a choice.
We all strive so hard to find a place for us in this world. We're all the same, and yet, we're all so different. It's been a life-changing year for me. I've had the most interesting few months of my life which definitely made me see things in a different perspective. I've learned so much about people, about life, about how I can make myself a better person, and so much more. I also met people who affected my life so much that they changed me as a whole. I guess you can say that I'm more matured now, but I'd like to think that I understand more about myself now. Isn't it interesting that as we grow, we discover more about ourselves?
Being too caught up with the thoughts of the need to be able to move forward, I subconsciously lost myself. My dreams and goals were overtaking me, eating me from the inside. Before I know it, I was slipping off, from me. I wasn't myself anymore.
I've always had a thing about remembering people's names, how they look, etc. All about details. This girl introduced herself to me, and right after she mentioned her name, it slipped out of my head. I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I thought, 'What's the point? So what if I remember her name? So what if I don't? It's not even a big deal.'
A week after that, she actually wanted me to sit next to her. I actually haven't felt that way in a long time - wanted as a friend. She said, "I bet you can't remember my name, am I right?" I don't know why or how, but that was sort of like a wake up call to me. How was this even possible? How could I even lose myself? I couldn't believe it. I felt so bad, to her and to myself, that I promised myself this will never happen again. I was turning to someone else and if it wasn't for her, I would probably notice it only when it's too late...
"Don't worry, you'll be there with them soon.", another sentence she said that I don't think I will ever forget, because it made me feel so much better, it made me realise that I have been so hard on myself that I locked up my feelings somewhere else. I was so cruel to me. It makes me wonder how these small things, or rather these few sentences from her made me think so much, made me realise what's wrong, what I've been doing to myself and stop myself from turning into a stranger to myself.
Everything happens for a reason.
I still strongly believe in that and also that things will always get better.
Signing off,
Cindy.
Being too caught up with the thoughts of the need to be able to move forward, I subconsciously lost myself. My dreams and goals were overtaking me, eating me from the inside. Before I know it, I was slipping off, from me. I wasn't myself anymore.
I've always had a thing about remembering people's names, how they look, etc. All about details. This girl introduced herself to me, and right after she mentioned her name, it slipped out of my head. I just couldn't be bothered anymore. I thought, 'What's the point? So what if I remember her name? So what if I don't? It's not even a big deal.'
A week after that, she actually wanted me to sit next to her. I actually haven't felt that way in a long time - wanted as a friend. She said, "I bet you can't remember my name, am I right?" I don't know why or how, but that was sort of like a wake up call to me. How was this even possible? How could I even lose myself? I couldn't believe it. I felt so bad, to her and to myself, that I promised myself this will never happen again. I was turning to someone else and if it wasn't for her, I would probably notice it only when it's too late...
"Don't worry, you'll be there with them soon.", another sentence she said that I don't think I will ever forget, because it made me feel so much better, it made me realise that I have been so hard on myself that I locked up my feelings somewhere else. I was so cruel to me. It makes me wonder how these small things, or rather these few sentences from her made me think so much, made me realise what's wrong, what I've been doing to myself and stop myself from turning into a stranger to myself.
Everything happens for a reason.
I still strongly believe in that and also that things will always get better.
Signing off,
Cindy.
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